Best Shape of My Life by 40: My Year to Build Strength Inside and Out

I turn 39 today, and—even though it isn’t a flashy milestone—I’m so excited about what the next year holds. Weird twist: I’m genuinely eager to hit my forties. Didn’t see that coming! My thirties have been a whirlwind of growth, change, marriage, motherhood, and lesson after lesson. Every challenge handed me a bit more wisdom; every bit of wisdom added a little more strength. Now I’m cashing in all that experience and devoting the next 365 days to arriving at 40 in peak form—physically and mentally stronger than I’ve ever been.

I’m really excited for a new challenge that isn’t focused on a quick fix. This isn’t about a new diet or some dramatic overhaul. It’s about consistently showing up for myself—with intention, with discipline, and with more self-compassion than I’ve ever given before. It’s about focusing on how I feel and becoming the healthiest version of myself by the time I hit the big 4-0.

Strength Goals: Muscle Building

My first goal this year is all about building strength—the physical kind. The barbell-in-my-hands, sweat-on-my-forehead, muscles-shaking kind of strength. I want to see progress in the gym, especially in my deadlifts, Hungarian split squats, and upper body lifts. I want arms strong enough to carry groceries, toddlers, backpacks, and big dreams—all at once.

I’m also determined to rebuild my endurance on the mountain bike trails. Before kids, riding 20 miles was just a casual Sunday. I want that level of stamina back—not to prove anything, but because there’s nothing quite like the feeling of pushing past what you thought was possible.

I’m no longer chasing weight loss as a goal. What I’m after is energy, confidence, and ease. I want to feel light in my body and clear in my mind. I want to move through the day with strength—not struggle. I want movement that empowers me, and a body that supports the life I’m building: strong, healthy, and here for the long haul.

My plan:

• Summer: 5 workouts a week (a mix of weightlifting, bike rides, short runs, yoga, and weighted vest walks)
  
• School year: Shift to 4 workouts a week—whatever I can realistically make happen.
  
• The goal isn’t perfection. It’s consistency. Showing up again and again—even when I’m tired, even when it’s cold, even when all I’ve got is 10 minutes.

Food Focus: The Real 80/20

Nutrition has always been important to me, but this year I’m committing to a true 80/20 approach. I’ve been a little lax lately, and I really feel it—brain fog, fatigue, inflammation, low energy. My body just isn’t as forgiving as it used to be.

So here’s the (realistic) plan:

80% of the time: Real, whole foods. Minimally processed. Ingredients I can actually pronounce—and ideally, ones that grow in nature. Mostly gluten-free, low sugar, and chosen based on how they make me feel, not what’s trending online.
20% of the time: Life. Celebrations. Travel. Spontaneous ice cream runs. A cocktail or two.

I’m not aiming for perfect. I’m aiming for sustainable.

And that’s not always easy—because I’ve got decades of disordered eating patterns that make this kind of balance harder than it sounds. But the truth is, I’ve been doing the work. The past few years have been healing, and I’m finally in a place where this kind of flexible, nourishing approach feels not just doable—but right. This isn’t a diet. It’s a lifestyle that supports my goals, my health, and most importantly, my peace.

Wellness & Self-Care: The Other Side of Strength

True strength isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, mental, and spiritual. So this year, I’m putting in the work in all of these areas.

That means:

• Making space for alone time—even when life feels too chaotic and it seems like I can’t make it happen.
  
• Giving myself more grace and less criticism. This one’s a work in progress. I’ve gotten better over the years, but I’m still my own harshest critic—and unfortunately, I’m pretty skilled at it. What I’m learning is that I need to talk to myself the way I talk to people I love. I deserve encouragement, not just correction. Compliments, not just critiques.
  
• Stretching, breathing, and slowing down. Something I have a hard time doing but definitely crave. I plan to fit in some yoga, and I might even learn to fish or play golf.
  
• Getting outside daily for fresh air and vitamin D. Always a priority and always helps my mood.
  
• Prioritizing quality sleep like it’s a full-time job. This one I’ve already got on lockdown, but I will continue to keep it a focus.
  
• Staying consistent with supplements to support recovery, brain health, and inflammation. Also something I’m already pretty good about, but will continue and adjust as needed.

Mindset & Mental Strength:

One of the biggest gifts I’ve taken from one of my favorite books, Amy Johnson’s Just a Thought—and the Three Principles it’s built on (Mind, Consciousness, Thought)—is realizing that my inner storms (thoughts) are temporary. Thoughts and feelings roll in like weather systems: they cloud and darken the sky, pour for a while, and then they fade. The blue sky (that’s me) stays unchanged beneath every storm. It may be hidden for a while, but it’s always there, unchanged. We as humans are the same. Healthy and peaceful at our core. We just often have weather that clouds our judgement or makes it feel like the storm will stick around forever.

Here’s what I’m carrying into this year:

1. Thoughts aren’t the boss of me.
They show up uninvited, but that doesn’t mean they get to redecorate or call the shots. When a noisy “You’re not enough” thought barges in, I’ll greet it like an overly chatty co-worker —notice it, nod politely, and get on with my day.

2. Feelings follow their own timeline.
Whether it’s anxiety, irritation, sadness, or an attack of self-doubt, emotions have a natural rise-and-fall rhythm. My only job is to acknowledge them, not fight them. The less I get involved or try to change things, the faster it passes.

3. Discomfort isn’t danger.
A lump in my throat or a pit in my stomach is just a physical response—not a red flag that something’s truly wrong. When those sensations show up, I’ll remind myself: “This is safe to feel. Let it be here.” Most of the time, just allowing the feeling without resisting it or distracting from it is all it takes for it to pass.

My goal is emotional agility: room for joy, grief, pride, or panic without dodging or dramatizing. I want to be confident in feeling everything, even the discomfort. Instead of numbing it with something like food or alcohol. Just like strength training, it’s deliberate reps, progressive overload, and plenty of recovery. Discomfort isn’t the enemy; it’s part of getting stronger.

Career Goals: Blog, Build, Monetize

My last goal for the year is strength in my commitment to writing. This blog started as a side hustle dream and has become a real creative outlet—something that keeps me grounded and growing. But now it’s time to go further.

By the time I’m 40, I want to be earning consistent income from this space. Not just the occasional freelance article or affiliate link—but sustainable, meaningful income that reflects the time and heart I’ve put in.

I know this won’t be quick. I’m realistic. Just like my weightlifting progress, it’s a slow burn. But I’m staying patient and I’m committed to the long game.

Over the next year, I’ll be cranking out content, expanding my educational resources, and building a community of moms and teachers who appreciate real talk, practical tips, and a little humor along the way.

Why I’m Sharing This

Because motivation fades. Life gets busy. The school year will start again, routines will shift, and the passion will fade at times.

So I’m putting this out there today, on my 39th birthday, as a promise to myself—and maybe a little accountability boost too. A reminder of how fired up I feel right now, so I can come back to this when things get hard.

If you’re reading this and working toward your own version of strong, healthy, and happy—I’m cheering you on. Let’s do it together.

Here’s to showing up. To feeling strong. To chasing big goals and playing the long game.

Let’s see what we can do in 365 days.

And as always…

Let’s not lose our minds together,

Tori