Managing the Mental Load of Motherhood Without Burnout

The Chaos Didn’t Change, But I Did

Lately, my brain has felt like a browser with 87 tabs open, four of them playing music I can’t find, and at least one permanently frozen.

In other words… a totally normal day for an ADHD mom. Am I right? It surprised me for a while, because I am on summer break and thought my mind would be “calmer”, but… nope! It just filled the gaps with so many other things.

New laminate floors are going in tomorrow (hello, a hundred decisions), I’m building a phonics program (make that a million decisions), school starts in three weeks (WHAT), Olive is starting kindergarten (cue all the emotions and the to-do list), and I leave for a kid-free trip… tomorrow. I’m SO excited. But yeah, the mental load to get out the door is heavy. And on top of it all, there’s still the usual mom-life juggle: appointments, groceries, playdates, birthday parties, laundry, dishes, meals, and figuring out how many popsicles is too many. (Spoiler: we’ve passed it.)

I’m usually at least a post or two ahead on my blog, but the chaos of summer finally caught up with me. I almost skipped writing this week entirely. But as I sat in the middle of the mess, I realized, this is the post. Not just the chaos itself, but how I’ve learned to manage it in real time.

Because while my external world still looks like a tornado of motherhood and side hustle dreams, my internal world feels… different.

Learning to Let the Thoughts Be There

Over the past few years, I’ve been learning a new way to relate to stress, overwhelm, emotions, and the nonstop swirl of (often crazy) thoughts running through my head. And honestly? It’s been life-changing.

I read Dr. Amy Johnson’s books Just A Thought, The Little Book of Big Change, and Being Human, as well as listened to her podcast “Changeable” and joined her “Little School of Big Change” a few years ago. Each time I dive deeper into her work and the beliefs behind The 3 Principles, I find myself having incredible insights into the way we (and our minds) all work as humans.

I’ve learned it’s not my job to control my thoughts, try to change them, or decide which ones are “acceptable” and which ones need to go. That’s just not how brains work. Everyone has wild, random, sometimes intrusive thoughts, it’s completely normal. We don’t get to choose which ones show up, and trying to control them is a losing game.

And while we’re at it, we can’t control what other people think either. So there’s really no point in stressing about someone else’s opinion of you.

Because thoughts, yours or theirs, are just thoughts. They’re meaningless unless we give them meaning.

You Don’t Have To Believe Everything You Think

The difference isn’t in what we think. It’s in how we respond.

I used to spiral every time a thought popped up. Especially the familiar ones I thought I “should” be over by now. But now? I let them hang out. I don’t try to engage, fix, or fight. Because the truth is, those thoughts might not go away, and certainly not on the timeline I think is reasonable.

Instead of panicking or giving them power, I’ve learned to step back and say, “Oh hey, you again. Still here? That’s fine. You’ll leave eventually.”

It sounds simple, but it’s incredibly freeing.

I used to think that successful meditation meant silencing your mind. And every time I sat down to try, I’d get frustrated when I couldn’t make the thoughts stop. Now I realize: the goal isn’t to stop the thoughts. It’s to notice them without resistance. To let them exist without pushing them away or doing anything to distract from them. To coexist with the messiness of the mind and still feel grounded.

That’s what true peace is. Not the absence of chaos, but the ability to stay steady in the middle of it.

How This Mindset Shift Shows Up in My Side Hustle

This shift, being able to sit with discomfort and mental noise without spiraling, has quietly changed how I approach my blog and business, too.

Every professional out there seems to say the same thing: Pick a niche. Focus. Stay in one lane if you want to grow.

And while I get it… I’ll respectfully decline.

I can’t talk about the same thing all the time. I’ve tried. I get bored. My brain doesn’t work like that. Just like I can’t control which thoughts show up in my head, I can’t force myself to be passionate about the same narrow topic week after week.

Some days I want to talk about phonics and structured literacy. Other days it’s non-toxic flooring, clean beauty, parenting mindset, or just the ridiculous number of snacks my kids consume before 10 a.m. If I don’t give myself the freedom to pivot and follow what lights me up, this blog won’t last. It won’t feel like me.

And honestly? Maybe that is the niche. The mental load of modern mom life. The constant gear-shifting, decision-making, and identity juggling that happens when you’re raising kids, running a house, working, creating, and trying to carve out something for yourself.

This blog is my brain on paper. It’s the chaos and the clarity. The laminate samples, the lesson plans, the mindset shifts, the mom moments. I’ve finally stopped fighting the idea that it’s supposed to be anything else.

Letting Go of the Fight

The more I practice this way of being, of allowing instead of resisting, the lighter I feel. Not because life is easier. It’s still full. It’s still hard. It’s still emotional and exhausting at times. And I’m still very much learning and growing.

But I’m not gripping it so tightly. I’m not waiting for some magical moment where everything feels “under control.” I’m learning to let stress sit next to me without letting it take the wheel.

I don’t need to fix it. I don’t need to pretend it’s not there. I can just… let it be. And wait for it to pass.

Because it always does.

The blue sky is still there, even when I can’t see it behind the clouds. And the funny thing is, once you stop fighting it, the storm often clears a whole lot faster.

That’s what Amy Johnson’s work and the Three Principles have taught me. Her writing helped me understand that thoughts aren’t problems. They’re just weather. Temporary. Fleeting. Harmless if we don’t latch onto them. When we stop treating every thought or feeling like something urgent and dangerous, they start to lose their power. They fizzle. Nothing is permanent.

So no, I don’t have a perfectly curated, niche-approved, SEO-optimized blog post for you this week.

What I do have is a reminder: you don’t need to fight your thoughts. You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to niche down your life, or your blog, to make it meaningful.

You already are the calm, capable, healthy version of yourself you think you’re trying to become.

You just need to stop taking your thoughts so seriously.

Let’s not lose our minds together,

Tori